Shunned
Group Tarot Readings bring me so much joy! I've been longing for a sense of community for what feels like forever. At age 15 I lost everyone I every knew because I kissed a boy and wasn't sorry. I'm serious! Sometimes when I tell my stories of growing up as a Jehovah's Witnesses people think I'm joking.
I knew the commitment I had made at age 12 when I was baptized into the Jehovah's Witnesses. Sinning without remorse would lead to public shunning. I knew that was part of the drill. I had seen it happen many times. The rumor mill was running pretty strong in the JW community so I heard the whispers of so and so cheating or the shocking news that someone was gay!
So when I got busted with my tongue down my secret boyfriends throat I took the typical 15 year old attitude and dug my own grave. Believe me the guilt I felt about what I was doing wasn't worth the momentary pleasure but my 15 year old hormones had forgotten the reality of the shunning policy. So after Ministry School at Thursday night's meeting the announcement was made to the whole audience. Regina Olson had been disfellowshipped. Mic drop.
The meeting that followed was about fornication. The meeting that followed was always about the reason the person was disfellowshipped without the announcement that the meeting would be about why the person got disfellowshipped. But everyone knew. Any Witness who missed that meeting regretted it!
Not that I would know exactly how that meeting went down because when I heard my mother get into the shower that Thursday night, 15 year old Regina ran away.
And ran and ran…..until at least 1999!
In retrospect I wished I had sued the JW's for deformation of character. I googled it once but comes to find out other people tried and failed. I walked around with a heavy burden of resentment for so long I got used to it.
I meet the most interesting people at Tarot in Thyme. It was actually recently that a woman walked in (you know who you are) and told me that I needed to drop the anger at the JW's. She obviously was very psychic. She said it has taken me many lifetimes to free myself from patriarchal situations. She said that the JW's were the perfect situation in this lifetime for me to free myself.
I've taken that deeply to heart. I thought I had healed so much but the next stage is gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunity to free myself.
Did I choose to be born into this situation? Maybe
Is it part of my Karma to break free of it? Makes sense to me.
Am I finally ready to share my stories?
Yes! But only by laying the heavy burden of resentment down…but I'll keep the sarcasm & humor since I am a Sagittarius Sun after all!
So thanks for all your support. You help me in my healing.
You bring me community. Finally.
With gratitude,
Regina
PS: Did you read “The Devil's in the Cupcakes"?